| Yesterday, at about 1pm I found out that my grandfather passed away. He was my father's father. He helped raise my sister and I until my dad remarried. He was a good man. He taught me how to find the courage that is always buried inside myself that I don't know that I have. Sometimes, that came in some perhaps unconventional ways. When I was about 4 years old, I found a snake outside. I knew it wasn't a rattlesnake, nonetheless, it looked pretty scary. I went inside and told Pawpaw that there was a snake outside. He asked me to describe it, so I did. Then he told me, "Welp, you better go on out there and kill it." Now, in my family, when you're told to do something, you don't ask questions, you just do it. So, I walked back outside toward my formidable foe. I took a deep breath, and then I don't remember what exactly happened. Perhaps I used a hoe, or a few rocks. I don't know. A few minutes later, Pawpaw came out with a gun in his hand. The snake was gone before he got out there. I don't remember if I killed it or just scared it away, but I faced it. And that was what was important. Pawpaw had a huge grin on his face and gave me a hug. He was there to back me up if I needed it, but he had stayed inside so that I thought I was on my own. He taught me a very real part of God. He allows us to face challenges, and sometimes it looks like we're completely on our own, but in truth, he's standing right behind us supporting us all the way. Right now, I'm on the other side of the world. Unable to be with any of my family. Unable to say goodbye in the usual way. Unable to grieve with others that have known my Pawpaw, someone so precious. Since I have heard the news, I have felt incredibly alone. It seems I'm having to face this giant on my own. Because of what my Pawpaw taught me so long ago, I know that I have the strength even when I feel like all I can do is stay on my knees and cry. I know that my God, my comforter, is with me through it all. Thank you, Pawpaw, for taking care of me for so long. Thank you for teaching me so many things about this life and our God. I will miss you greatly, but I will always be thankful for the time I got to have with you. I love you! |
